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Greasy Spoon Gossip and News with 'Arry and Mike

January 18, 2018

Written by:

"Have a little Patience......"


The steam skids off the surface of my builder's strength, dark brown mug of tea, after I exhale a gentle breeze from my mouth.  Sandra has asked me for my regular on arrival and along with my tea, the usual slight sizzling noise is coming from her frying pan.  The same radio adverts begging us to buy insurance are ringing through the old speakers, which are crudely bolted on to the china walls. As with every week, these speakers still cannot drown out the thudding and swearing coming from Dave, as once again the fruit machine swallows another one of his new £1 coins.


"Poxy machine again!!" He shouts, "how does it work out that when I choose higher than a two, it spins and lands on a poxy one?!  Sandra!  Change up my £2 coin please love?"


Another thing that has become a regular occurrence, is that 'Arry is late to meet me for our weekly catch up.  I look at my watch and fire up my iPad to check out what's been happening down at Millwall this week.  I scroll through the pages and read through Neil Harris' view on the recently introduced video referee.


"Tell you what Mike," said Dave as he takes two £1 coins off Sandra, "I can't be having that new video ref rubbish, slows down the flow of the game and it'll never catch on."


"Not sure about that Dave," I reply, my eyes not leaving the cold glass screen, "Neil Harris reckons if we had that, then maybe we'd be higher up the table.  He thinks that with the ref on the side line, we wouldn't have had some of those red cards and a few more goals."


"I read that!" screamed Sandra from the inside of the Lucozade branded fridge, overreaching for the bottle of apple Tango Dave had ordered. "He said Gregory's goal against Preston should've stood.  Too right as well, I could see from here behind the till he was onside!"


"Well I'm glad someone is a fan of technology," muttered Dave, before aggressively forcing his new twelve sided coin down the slim slot at the top of the machine.


"Don't get the hump Dave that the machine nicked your money," came a voice from behind me, "I'd be more worried about this photo I got of you asleep cuddling a Bradley Bear lunch box you won at Pontins last week!"


It was 'Arry, and he slalomed through the wooden tables, casually bypassing the chequered tablecloths to the counter.


"I'll have a gingerbread latte, with a few chocolate sprinkles on top please Sandra?" 'Arry asked, with a cheeky grin on his face.


"You're not back at Pontins now my love," said Sandra, "it'll be instant and you'll like it."


"Seems I'm the only one who decided to come to Bermondsey!" laughed 'Arry, "you read the news?  No-one has been signed yet, we seem to be the only ones who've turned up at The Den in this transfer window!"


Taking our hot drinks, we step away from the counter and sit down whilst we await our breakfasts to be brought over.  I spin my iPad round so 'Arry can see the screen clearer.  We continue to read that Millwall are waiting for teams in the Premier League and the Championship to start letting their players go.


"It says here 'Arry," I say, pushing the hyperlink to take me to the right page, "that there were some players lined up, but they found their way back in their match day sides.  Harris is right, just need to be a bit patient."


"Like me, you mean?" asked 'Arry, who was looking over my shoulder and watching Dave lose more money, like a falcon hovering over his helpless prey.  "He's put £6 in at the moment, the second he goes to the bogs I'm putting my money in."


"Alright 'Arry, well keep looking at this first before you set him off again."


We continue to read about how Steve Morison believes that Elland Road will be the place for the Lions' first away win of the season.  We see that Moro believes if we play the same way we have been in other away games, we will get the win.  We also go on to read that Shane Ferguson could be back in the squad, boosting our chances for the three points.


"I could've done with a three earlier too," moaned Dave, "ended up getting a poxy one.  I mean what are the odds 'Arry?!"


"Well seeing as the game is fixed and not totally random," shouted 'Arry, over the Take That track that was blaring out of the radio speakers, "quite high I suppose."


"Leave off mate," I laugh, "you'll only wind him up more.  Anyway, what's been happening with the Lionesses?"






Waking up this week has felt amazing. There were no sounds downstairs from the kids making a noise playing in the arcades, and causing all types of havoc.

After a great weekend away it was time to get back down to Earth, and drink another Nescafé in the café.  I told Michael 10am today as I was running a bit late, but of course he got there for 9 and ended up waiting a whole hour for me while I was blow drying my hair.

Mike seemed fairly happy as he welcomed me in a rather peculiar way. “Bonjour 'Arry!  Oui! How do you say?... How did the Lionesses get on this week?”

“Mike," I laughed, "I’m gonna stop you right there.  We went to Pontins in England, not Paris.  We had pie and mash for dinner, not frog legs and what you just said bar the first word was all English... Anyway they won at the weekend, was a good game."

“I’ll keep that in mind," replied Michael, in an 'Allo 'Allo type accent. "Am I in the local paper?  Local hero saves the Lionesses from match day ball embarrassment?”

"I assume so.  I mean what would we have done without that ball?!  Surprised you didn’t win player of the match."

"I thought they were excellent Sunday," Mike said, as Sandra brought over our breakfast, "it was a tough first 60 but we were able to step it up and Charlie Devlin was something else when she came on."

"Charlie is a gem at the club," I agreed," gifted technically and links up well with the likes of Ella, Ash and Rianna.  What did you think of the back line this week?  We looked a bit more assured but we still look vulnerable at times."

"Defending is a hard skill to master," Mike said, "but as long as we are scoring four every game, I’m sure we won’t have a problem!"

We sat there for a few moments continuously back and forth talking about the game giving our thoughts on the 4-1 win which saw the Lionesses go 2nd, before we moved onto the big announcement of the week...

"If Cahill signs," I pledged, "I will do a song at the next MSC meeting!  The song is......"

To be continued...






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