"LET THEM EAT MEAT!"
My head is spinning like the centre of my builder's strength tea now I have finished stirring it with my spoon. My brain is as scrambled as the eggs on the plate next to me and my cranium is whirring like the reels that Dave is twirling, after inserting into the machine what can only be compared to Millwall's transfer budget. After a busy, busy Christmas period for Millwall, the transfer window is open and just like the cold draught which follows 'Arry when he walks through the door late, it hits you hard and between the eyes.
'Arry is late again, telling me he's only going to be a few minutes, as the trains from London Bridge are up the wall.
"That's the excuse I'm using anyway with her indoors," shouts over Dave, as he debates whether to go higher or lower when his reel drops on a six. "My luck could be worse," he continues, "I could end up like poor James Brown and spend the next few months up north!"
"You're having a laugh aren't you?" I reply, putting down my china tea mug with the tea-stained, brown interior. "He's been an absolute revelation up north at Carlisle, that's a great bit of business having him stay there on loan for the rest of the season."
I fire up my iPad, wait for the page to load and check out the rest of Millwall's transfer activity. "You seen this with Tom King, Sandra?" I ask, "apparently he's on his way to Forest Green Rovers? Hope he likes vegetarian food."
"Well there aren't many veggie places round here are there? Even the beans on toast here has horse meat in it, I've heard!" laughed Dave, his body silhouetted by the fruit machine lights. Luckily for Tom King, he will be having meat in his diet after all, as I read he has instead gone to join Stevenage on loan, right after signing a new deal at The Den.
I continue to scroll through the news and see that along with King and Brown, Sid Nelson has returned from loan at Yeovil and gone straight back out to Chesterfield for the remainder of the season. A good move I reckon, Nelson will be down the bottom of League Two where it'll build his character.
"Don't talk to me about character," moaned Dave, "my poxy burglar character has been caught on the board for the third time in a row. Sandra! You got enough change for my £10 note?!"
"You've got more chance of guessing the Millwall side for the Barnsley game! You not read News at Den? Apparently he is putting out a decent side, although saying that in the next breath he did say the league was the priority," yells Sandra from behind the condensation filled, fried fish windows.
"To be fair Dave, there's more chance of Holloway getting the freedom of Bermondsey then you doing any better on that machine. Why don't you give it a rest mate?" I ask.
Dave spun around quicker than Morison did at Carrow Road, just before Moro's second goal of the season at Norwich away, shooting daggers in my direction. Luckily for me this was aimed at 'Arry, who had just walked in. "Bloody hell Mike," 'Arry chuckled "he's really not letting it go that I nicked his money out the machine is he?"
"Don't mind him 'Arry," I say, "The Lionesses are back this weekend. What's going on with them?"
I walked in the cafe with a big smile on my face. THE LIONESSES ARE BACK THIS WEEKEND! I was filled with joy, no longer would I be bored on a Sunday.
“Big game Sunday Mike, 3 points needed!” Mike was as pleased as I was that they were back and replied, “It’s always going to be tough first game back as match sharpness won’t be there, but I’m sure they’ve prepared well.”
The Lionesses were back in training this week preparing for the 1st game of 2018 against Sheffield on Sunday. Lee Burch’s side haven’t lost in the league since February 2017, which was in fact a 2-1 home defeat to Sunday’s opposition, Sheffield. “We owe them one this week," I said, "a 5-0 thrashing would be nice.”
Mike has been pleased with the work rate of Megan Wynne for the Lionesses, but one person was slightly better when talking about work rate. “I’ve got to say Megan is an outstanding winger with pace and passion, but old Sandra can do a nice cuppa in 30 seconds flat. I don’t know about you 'Arry but that's impressive to me.”
The waitress arrived and politely asked, “can I take your decision on what to have?”
Mike was confused. “ Yeah, Rianna Dean must start.”
“No she’s means what you want to eat!” I laughed.
“I knew that I was just kidding. I’ll have a bacon and sausage sandwich, cut the crust of the bread and not too much ketchup. Any news about players leaving in the window H?”
It’s all been very quiet so far in the window, a few teams have made changes in their squad but not many. The Lionesses, just like the men, have not made any acquisitions this window or sold any players either. “Its all been a bit quiet, we might bring in one or two, but I think Lee has got a team he likes at the moment.”
Dave was on the fruit machines again. “I'VE PUT A TENNER IN HERE AND I HAVE WON NOTHING!!”
Mike and I started laughing making Dave looked round. “Why you laughing?” Mike calmed down before letting him know “It’s not plugged in mate! Sandra unplugged it!”
“I feel like a right idiot now," Dave said, his face as red as the flashing lights, "I feel like I’m one of the refs who do the Lionesses' game and doesn’t know what he is doing!”
"We get them down The Den, I reckon Sandra would make a good ref! What ya reckon Sandra?
“Ooh no my friend" said Sandra, just as she finished putting on her coat. "I’m off to Mecca Bingo.”