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Greasy Spoon Gossip and News with 'Arry and Mike

December 14, 2017

Written by:


"Goooooooooooooooooooooooooal Lazzzzziooooooooooo!"


I'm sitting in the Millwall café, slurping my fourth builder's strength cuppa waiting for my mate 'Arry to turn up.  The Millwall café is our new setting to have a chat about everything that's happened this week with Millwall and the Lionesses, but he's late again due to the 381 from Salter Road not coming anywhere near here.

"Mate, I'm just down The Blue," says 'Arry, "just had a swift half in the 'Spoons while I waited for me bus, but give me five minutes."


I order another tea, worried that the sugar that I've consumed will make me as hyper as my 6-year old when Millwall got a dramatic away day point on Saturday and turn on my iPad.  I feel I am in a futuristic version of the classic Football Italia, but instead of James Richardson with a cup of coffee, the Italian newspapers and a European pastry, I've got my cup of PG, News at Den and a couple of slices of toast.


That 0-0 was a great result the Saturday before, with reading about Millwall being the better side.  Gregs may've not hit the back of the net at Villa Park, but he did rattle the woodwork and it was good to see Dave Martin had a good debut for the club.  Clean sheet away at Villa, I'd have taken that if offered and a well earned point I reckon.


As I'm scrolling through the news, the only other fella in the café decides to try his luck on the fruit machine.  I continue reading but see a statement from John Berylson in light of the Dyson report being published.  With my head now spinning like the reels on the nearby machine, my mood swings from total disbelief with the report, to immense pride from our chairman.  He seems to again be standing up to the council and it's bullying.  Unlike the fella behind me who's asking the woman at the till to break up his tenner to try and win big, our three bells have dropped and we have hit the Jackpot with our chairman.  The MSC have broadcast JB is going to be on Lions Live this week, will definitely be downloading that!


Scrolling through the news and eating my charcoaled bread, I read that Jed Wallace thinks we need 55 points to stay up this year.  "That's quite the target", I say to myself, trying to talk over the expletives from the man who's now punching the machine because he lost his extra life.  "That's what we nearly went down with a few years ago weren't it?  When that geezer Connor Sammon scored for Derby?"


"Sod Sammon mate!  I'm back on the board!" said my new found friend who was now mesmerised by the swirling lights and deciding whether to go higher or lower.  I read on and see Jed thinks we'll be alright. Cracking player that Wallace.


The Millwall website flashes up and I see that Stevie Morison has signed a contract extension to 2019, he'll be about 85 by then by my rough calculations.  But I'm happy with that, although luckily for Moro it's not a goal related extension.


"Tell you what mate, if I got contracts the amount of times I played this poxy machine, then I'd be here til 2019 as well." My new mate says, sighing at the cop catching the robber on the games board.  It's at this point 'Arry decides to turn up.  He gobbles down the Full English I had bought him and as I eat my newly bought bacon sarnie, he tells me how the Lionesses have been getting on...




After finishing my full English and accidentally spilling my beans down Michael's white vest, I was filling him in on the news that had occurred in the Lionesses' camp this week.


Michael took a bite of his bacon sandwich before turning round and saying “what’s Legend Lee been doing this week?” I sipped a bit more of my cuppa before explaining the news of the restructure this week. “Michael we’ve had some very good news," I said "we’ve applied for Tier 2 for the 2018/19 season meaning we will stay where we are.  Playing competitive football week in, week out and eventually getting more fans down there to support them”


Michael was rather pleased to hear the news and was eager to spread the word. “Waitress” he called. “The Lionesses are staying in the second tier next year meaning that the quality and standard will be brilliant and the players will be playing for passion rather than their wages!” 


After such disappointment not long ago when they were docked 3 points for fielding an ineligible player, this bit of news has come across a lot better its fair to say, probably a lot better than that tea I had - I think Michael asked for 2 sugars in mine!


"The Lionesses are back at it again on the 7th of January against Sheffield FC so get yourself down there and support your Lionesses!"  Is what I thought of in my head, instead I just said “Can I have the bill please?”



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